My first draft of script...."James"

Here is a first rough draft script of the story I have been working on, there are slight issues i have with it and will be tweaking it as the development process continues, but for now i think it captures a lot of what I'm trying communicate.


James (working title)


Establishing shot; long low angle shot on a big run down looking grey factory, the angle and lighting heightens the intensity of the building and makes it seem even more grim and unpleasant.

We see a shot along the top of the fence with barbed wire all over it the fence surrounds the building we just saw, the cameras line of vision follows that of the fence and our perspective follows it down to show the sheer size of this building.

Close up on a big red sign on the grey wall of this building, Sign says “warning, do not enter, authorised personnel only”.

Loud siren goes off, as we cut to inside the building with a close up on a little red light that is flashing next to a big loudspeaker mounted on the wall.

Close up of a man pulling on his gloves, cuts quickly to close up of him zipping up his coat.

Now to mid shot of him from high angle as he walks along corridor to a door that he walks through all shot from behind.

We now see a mid close up on a conveyer belt with an assortment of metal piping on it, the conveyer belt running towards the camera and the piping passes by the shot.

Cut to a mid shot of a man-sitting front of the conveyer belt as the metal piping passes him by. His face looks uninterested and empty of all emotion and life, as his eyes follow the piping by, shifting from left to right in a robotic way.

Extreme close up on these eyes moving from side to side, lighting from above creates mood.

We cut to mid close up shot of halogen light bulb flickering on and off.

Close up on the mans face as he looks up at the flickering light, the flickering is seen in the shadows cast on and off his face. He looks back down.

POV from his perspective looking down at the conveyer belt moving past him with all the metal pipes flowing by. We see one defective pipe with a melted side.

Mid shot from front of him reaching out to take it off the conveyer belt.

Then close up from birds’ eye view of a hand reaching across a bin and dropping the pipe into it.

We then have a succession of quick cuts mainly close ups to create a really personal and intense insight into the characters daily routine at work, concentrating on the repetition of mundane tasks.

Close ups of eyes moving from side to side, works against the close mid shot from POV of James watching conveyer belt going by.

Flickering of light shot. Back to eyes shifting from side to side, cuts quickly to the conveyer belt shot where we see a faulty pipe, cuts to Birds’ eye view shot of James dropping the pipe into the bin.

All the while the sounds of the factory and machinery are getting louder and faster as the cutting of shots continues and increases in speed.

Shot of him cracking a can of coke close up on top of can, cuts to extreme close up of mouth taking a sip.
Extreme close up from the side of conveyer belt as the pipes roll by they tower over the camera, which is positioned at a high angle at the bottom of the conveyer belt.

Back to ECU on James eyes watching the pipes roll by.

Hand reaching out to grab another pipe, cuts back to birds eye view shot from above bin as he drops the pipe in.

Close up from the side (in slow motion) as the pipe drops to the bottom of the bin and bounces a few times.

The sounds of the clanging of the steel pipe are heard (echoing), but all cut out as we hear the loud noise of the work siren

Cuts to shot of red light and loudspeaker on wall.

Close up of him punching in his card a the end of work, quick cut to shot of zipping up jacket, then to another close up of him taking off gloves.
Mid shot of him slamming his locker door and walking out of the shot.

We cut to exterior shot of James leaving work, looking tired and unhappy he walks rapidly towards and past the camera.